Little Moments

It’s been quite some time since I last blogged. And I’ve been meaning
to. Honestly I have. But in between my lack of sleep and time torn
between all the members of my family I’ve been busy. And the funny
thing is I’ve found myself feeling slightly guilty because of it. When
you are a parent the time your children spend as babies is so
precious, in my opinion. Last night after dinner Annabelle, our
fifteen month old, entertained the husband and me by dancing around
the living room to the Studio 54 music channel. Don’t ask me why this
is her favorite channel but it just is! Kids are funny that way. My
husband loves to make videos of our daughter with his iPhone to send
to other members of the extended family. He showed the quick ones he
recorded of her displaying her ever-growing array of dance moves. I
don’t know why, but for some reason, watching these videos moved me to
tears. I tried to hide them, to push them back, hoping he wouldn’t
notice. I’m not much of a crier. I never really have been my whole
life. I’m a little tougher I’d like to think. But watching the little
video of my daughter dancing around our living room with no shirt on
and a pair of leggings made my heart melt. She’s growing too fast.
Before I know it she’ll be in school and then grown up and off to
college and out of our home. I told this to my husband and he told me
that I simply can’t think this way. And he’s right. But it’s so hard.
Especially since I was holding Daisy in my arms knowing that before
long she’ll be dancing around the room gleefully on her way to
becoming a little lady. I never realized how much joy children could
bring a person until I had them. And I know that children aren’t for
everyone and I respect that immensely, but nothing else in the world
could make me as happy as my two do. I just wish they could grow up in
slow motion. At least I’ll have my little videos to always remember.

My Mother’s Day Surprise … Daisy Meshell

Catching some interrupted Zzz’s

Dreams can be a funny thing. I’ve always had very vivid dreams that I can remember easily. Sometimes it frightens me because they can feel so real. I awoke for the last time at 4:45 this morning to a dream, or better yet a nightmare, that wouldn’t allow me to go back to sleep. Not that I really wanted to anyhow. Ever since I’ve become a parent I’ve learned what it means to love unconditionally. I love my husband, but in a way that is different in how I love our child. In my dream someone was trying to take my daughter from me and I was having to do everything I could to try and stop them. I clawed and kicked and screamed, flailing my limbs wildly. It was one of those dreams in which subconsciously you are doing everything you can to try and wake up. And after what felt like torture, I did–gasping and shaking. I’m not one for cuddling but I found my way over to my husband and grabbed his hand to try and ease my unsettled nerves.

With only three weeks or less until I get to meet my new baby, sleep has become something I don’t get as often as I used to. Going to sleep isn’t the problem, it’s just staying asleep that is. Especially with the vivid dreams, constant bathroom breaks, and this steadily growing fetus that’s packing on about an ounce a day. As of two weeks ago she was weighing approximately 6.5 lbs, so no telling where she’s at now. It’s hard to get comfortable when there’s a basketball attached to you that’s constantly shifting. Sometimes I look at my family while their sleeping, seeing how peaceful they are makes me happy. And then I’d also like to think that this disruption in my sleep schedule is only bettering me for the lack of sleep I’m about to endure once more with a newborn. Thank goodness for nesting or I would be a walking zombie through out the day.

Mother’s Day Wishes… I’ll Keep it Simple

My husband is well aware of the “push present” so I’ll take it easy on him this mother’s day.

A fellow blogger I follow, The Flowing Stream.., posted this the other day and it made me laugh so I thought I would share…

http://perfectlyimperfectmomma.com/2012/04/30/mothers-day-and-all-those-gifts/

Here’s my impromptu list:

5. To be able to drink a nice bottle of wine, which I can’t do BC i’m preggo…

4. Uninterrupted sleep for longer than four hours. These pregnancy bathroom trips at annoying at best.

3. To have my husband clean the house and do all the laundry and cook me dinner whilst taking care of our daughter. A girl can dream, right?!

2. To eat sushi. And lots of it. But again, no can do…

1. TO GIVE BIRTH. as of this June I’ve been pregnant and/or nursing for two years.. Nuff said!

My Mother’s Daughter

When girls are teenagers, they never want to hear that they are like their mother. Or at least I didn’t. I was determined and dead set on being my own person. As I got older I heard that phrase more and more, so naturally I figured it must hold some truth. Sure we have our differences on certain issues, but overall we are very much alike. We both talk a lot, we both get very passionate about matters that our important to us, we both talk in a funny sounding high pitched voice when we are nervous, the list could go on and on. Most importantly I’ve learned since becoming a mother that we have similar parenting styles. Growing up in my household was no cake walk, and I respected and sometimes feared my mother as she was the disciplinarian.

Looking back now, thinking of the way I feared her, it wasn’t actually fear. It was respect and the desire to please her. I didn’t receive my first B in school till I was in fifth grade and my mother referred to me as “Miss 84” for an entire month. No joke. The name stuck and I hated it, and obviously I never forgot about it. Academics came first, then chores, followed by my team sports, and anything else was secondary. I was taught about priorities at a very young age, what was important, what was not, and about prioritizing them accordingly. I knew better than to ask for certain things before completing my homework, or better yet, to not ask for certain things at all. Don’t get me wrong, I was awarded with nice things as a child but I worked for them and earned them fair and square. My father helped with this, too, like having me read the book for the movie coming out in the theater and taking me to see it after. It’s stuck to this day, and something I plan on teaching my daughters when that time comes.

Bottom line, my parents were my parents and not my buddies, or homegirl, or girlfriend, or any of that nonsense. I feel strongly that too many parents today get caught up in wanting to be chummy with their kids by letting them do things that they darn well know they are not supposed to. And its maddening to me. If you lead by example that is one of the easiest ways to start your children in the right direction. Yes, like any kid or teenager, there were several occasions when I didn’t understand my parents for not letting me do the things that I wanted to do. But looking back now, especially when I think of my mother and the strict disciplinarian that she was, I couldn’t be any more thankful. My daughters will reap the benefits of her hard work, and although I may make them frustrated one day, hopefully they will get the big picture when their time comes around.

She kept Mom up all night. I wake her up before sunrise.

Aches and Pains Outweigh the Birthday Blues

Today was the first day I’ve taken a break from exercising since I can remember. And no, its not like I’m training for a triathlon, but I am in my third trimester carrying sixteen extra pounds around plus a twenty pound twelve-month-old who loves nothing more than for mommy to hold her—although she has two perfectly good legs that she can now walk on. So today I decided I would take it easy, which couldn’t have come at a better time because rapidly growing baby-girl-to-be has decided to lodge on to one of my nerves, causing tremendous pain shooting through my body. And this pain hurts. BAD. I am no sissy when it comes to pain and I can’t help but think of those little emotion faces on the pain chart they show you as a child and thinking that I am at least somewhere in the range of five. Just two more months exactly from today. God give me strength. And if the world was fair, then I would be having a shot of Jager, but no can do at the moment. Sigh.
Normally, with my birthday quickly approaching tomorrow, I get an odd, unexplainable, unavoidable case of the birthday blues but that hasn’t happened. I love birthdays. Just not my own. My father having a mild heart attack on my seventh birthday may have something to do with it. But who knows if I can really pinpoint a reason. Call me weird I suppose. I can say that the immense pain is serving to take my mind off of it, and also the fact that this pregnancy has made me so sappy and happy that I am beside myself. I found myself crying while watching Disney’s, Tangled, for the umpteenth time yesterday and laughed out loud when my daughter caught Mommy getting choked up. I swear this child inside me is going to be the sweetest little girl, because even a usual bitchy hard-ass like myself is finding pleasure in things that usually seem nauseating. Which maybe isn’t such a bad thing after all. Then there are also the countless reasons I have for being grateful and not being a stick in the mud like usual. I can admit it now. Usually I only have myself to blame. And who said that a pregnant woman only has crazy, irrational thoughts? ☺

Little girl all grown up

And she’s off! My baby is now officially a toddler. Only five days shy of her first bday. I couldn’t be any prouder of her.

Progress!

Notice the calm, sweet baby beside me no longer trying to rip off other children’s faces??? We’re making progress in the Ramos household:)